The Clinton Award 2009

This year's Clinton award for sexual misconduct by a senior public official goes to . . . . .

Fernando Lugo, President of Paraguay.

While the alleged misdeeds (notice the plural) took place before he was President, he maintains eligibility for the award because they occurred when he was the Catholic Bishop of San Pedro and technically still bound by his vow of chastity - he is now released from that vow and is allowed to sleep with and impregnate any number of women - interns or not.

The first incident occurred after his election as President. A woman claimed he fathered a baby and he acknowledged paternity. Another woman came forward and then another. I suppose if you're going to break the vow of chastity you may as well go all the way. On the plus side he clearly followed the Catholic guidelines precluding the use of birth control. One wonders if this is an indication of the order of importance on these rules?

It is reported that the Church knew of the allegations as early as 2004 but chose to keep quiet. One wonders if Bishop Lugo went to confession and uttered "Forgive me father for I had twins" and it was misunderstood to be just "Forgive me father for I have sinned?"

A warped sense of entitlement - screwing constituents

I find it unremarkable that a bunch of politicians around the world have gotten caught fudging expenses. I do find extremely remarkable that they seem to feel absolutely no shame about it.

A city councilor in Toronto expensed public speaking lessons - she had been told she sounded shrill. While the training might have been necessary, it is not clear that her constituents and the rest of Toronto taxpayers should pay for the training.

Two or three Toronto councilors went to a strip joint for lunch (at the invitation of the exotic dancing lobby) . They made a big deal that a) they didn't watch (I'm sure) b) they were interested in the facilities available for the women (i.e. the types of laps provided for dances? the privacy of back rooms?) c) they paid for their own lunch. The strip club didn't give them free lunch they just charged Toronto taxpayers to go for lunch at the peelers.

The Home Secretary in England was fudging her living expenses and got caught (she said she lived with her sister so that she could claim her primary residence as a secondary residence as required for serving in Parliament). Further investigation showed that among other things, she had expensed several pay per view movies that her husband watched - including some porn. Might it be irony that her husband was screwing the British people by watching two Brits screw? There was even larger outcry the he rented Oceans 13 - twice. No only bad choices but bad taste too.

I could go on. And on. But you get the point. This is unbelievable.

Believe it or not

These two news items caught my attention this week. Made me shake my head.

1) A prison in Quebec released a man early this month because he was tooo fat. Yep - while the fat guy in the US who said he was too fat to kill (see earlier post) lost his case and remains on death row - this 430 lb guy in Quebec is too fat to incarcerate (interesting implications if he re-offends). Unfortunately they were unable to find a table and chair for him, although I can't imagine he got that fat by eating standing up all the time.

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/article/536090

2) A mother in Indiana was pulled over and charged with impaired. Officers were aghast that the woman had an infant with her in the car. She was not just endangering herself and other drivers but also her baby. They called her husband to the station to pick the baby up. He drove himself to the station and after officers were suspicious he was charged with impaired (he may well have been drinking with his wife beforehand but that's not clear - what is clear is that he was stupid enough to drive to the police station loaded). They then called his parents to come and pick up the baby. Grandma, who drove, smelled of liquor but tested just under the limit. When they suggested Grandpa drive he was found to be over the legal limit. Police decided to escort them home (but they left the baby with the pissed family). Great judgment all around.

Barry Bonds thinks we're stupid

That should hardly surprise anyone I suppose. He is still categorically denying using steriods but he has an interesting strategy in defending himself against federal charges that he lied to the grand jury.

His lawyers sought to have charges dropped due to ambiguous questions like:

"in the weeks and months leading up leading up to November 2000, were you taking steroids?"

He answered no but his lawyers are saying this had an ambiguous time element. If he says he didn't take steriods ever why would that be a problem.

Oh I thought you meant two months and I took steriods in August!

In the weeks and months during which no team has called you to play baseball did you remain an arrogant bastard?

Stefan Dion thinks we're stupid too

Stefan Dion says the Conservatives are horrible for the country. He says he has better policies (although he seems to continue to be unwilling to vote against theirs).

But he doesn't want an election just now. He goes so far as to suggest that Harper is breaking a promise to hold fixed date elections.

We all know he'd be keen if he thought he could win. He's worried about losing his job (which should happen anyway).

Now Harper thinks we're stupid too because he doesn't want the election funding hearings to go on so that we can hear that Conservatives are just as dishonest as Liberals. There will likely be criminal charges.

The economy is getting worse too so a renewed mandate now (even with a similar minority) might see him through the rough spots and cost Dion his job giving Harper even more time.

of course non of us will figure that out so they will point at each other, blame each other for the election and then continue to treat us like ignorant rubes. and we will vote for them and validate thier opinion of us.

If they're asking for ugly women what do the guys look like?

The mayor of a mining town in the Australian outback suggested recently that ugly women should consider moving to his town. Like a lot of resource communities, the male to female ratio is not favourable from a male perspective. Rather than extoll the virtues of his community and the opportunity - including rich single males - he seems to be saying only the most desparate women would be willing to come get some from hard drinking sweaty miners. I can imagine that the town's tourist campaign is great:

Its hot and dusty but if you like to drink at shift change we have a party for you. Watch desparate dirty ugly men fight over the newest ugly arrival.

Well they did vote for the mayor - and he may just be hoping for his own date and the good looking ones keep turning him down. I wonder if Monica Lewinsky is looking for a position as an intern in municipal politics.

Hotness a habit?

A priest in Italy is organizing a beauty pageant for nuns. Yes - that's correct - a beauty pageant for nuns. I suppose we can be thankful its not a beauty pageant for alter boys but this really does seem somewhat misguided. I have friends to tell me horror stories of nuns at Catholic school harranging them for too short skirts and makeup. What's this one going to be? I don't imagine there will be a swim suit event. I can hear the priest now.

Hear comes Sister Magdalena wearing . . . . the same f'n habit as Sister Teresa.

While it may be intended to celebrate beauty in a modest way it simply comes across as another old catholic perve looking to get thrills by parading women around. I'm guessing he tried to convince the nuns to let him have a contest with the graduating class and had to settle for Mother Superior. Desparate times indeed.

Harper Continues to Think We're Stupid

Stephen Harper has every reason to believe that Stephan Dion is a dull and plodding leader who simply fails to inspire Canadians (and who thinks that leading means not voting in Parliament) so the Conservatives should win a federal election in Canada. The reason he is mulling an election call now though, has much more to do with his party's in and out election funding scheme and keeping that out of the news before an election. There are likly criminal charges and the Conservatives are boycotting the committee meetings (which is similar to the Liberal/Dion absentions only illegal rather than just gutless) to try to delay appearances. We will undoubetly have an election this fall so the Conservatives don't get into trouble for cheating until after the election (and may, in fact, cheat again). Harper really does think we're stupid.

Another Milli Vanilli

This is almost too weird to be funny. The cute as a button girl who sang the patriotic song at the opening cerimonies for the Olympics in Bejing was lip syncing the words sung by another young girl. A member of the Politburo in China (talk about micro-managing) decided the good singer wasn't cute enough to be the face of China's youth and that the cute girl wasn't a goo enough singer to be the voice of China's youth.

Apparently the people in charge aren't smart enough to be the brain of China's leadership.

It won't be long until ugly athletes are replaced on podium to get medals in the interest of putting the best face forward - so to speak.

Its not clear that this is unique though. It almost happened in the US. Democrat Bill Richardson is too fat to be president. Dennis Kucinich is to weird and troll-lke (and his very young wife has a navel piercing but that's besides the point). Sure John Edwards has a clintonian eye and urge for staff but he's cute with good hair so we should elect him.

I doubt that there's an Ugly Betty type Ugly Chang show in China.