its the end of the world as we know it

do you feel fine????

There are some things out there that simply make me shake my head.

Two cases in point:

1) there is a religous group in the US (actually they mostly seem to be family members of the head of this particular Baptist Church somewhere in Kentucky - I will avoid the cliche joke about relatives and Kentucky but this does not seem to be a particularly deep gene pool)that goes around cheering and praising God at military funerals. That's correct people, these Americans celebrate US deaths in Iraq and Afganistan as they believe these deaths are Devine retribution for homosexuality in the US. They believe that God is killing American soldiers in Iraq (I suppose it is less messy than smiting them locally???) to punish Americans for allowing homosexuality. It seems that they appreciate God's subtlety - I would never have made that connection - and feel that a more direct approach (a plague of locusts across the midwest perhaps - letting Dick Cheney hunt quail in New York City) would be too in your face. It seems incredible that these folks cheer and sing hymns of thanks at military funerals. God - if you're listening - the message isn't getting through and these wingnuts are probably being counter productive. How about a burning bush or pictures of Pat Roberts with Heath Ledger - maybe then the Americans will get it. Remember these folks made Roseanne Barr and Nick Lachey celebrities. They don't get subtlety.

2) a 37 year old woman in Georgia (see above Kentucky reference) married the 15 year old friend of her son after she became pregnant with his child. Can you say high school cougar fantasy people? Can you say overwhelming shame - my Mom slept with my biology lab partner? She is now charged with statutory rape but is claiming that the law allowed her to marry him (the minimum age is 16 unless pregancy is involved) which then makes the rape charge moot. The boys grandma is saying he wants a divorce and things will likely get weirder for everyone before it is settled.

Freedom Fries and Roses of the Prophet Mohammad

Well this is getting a bit silly.

When France opposed the Iraqi invasion the US Congressional Cafetria renamed French Fries as Freedom Fries. While the Germans also opposed the war they did not rename German measles (a congressinal source suggested that they wanted to name a few more ailments after dissenters but French herpes just seemed a bit over the top).

Now Iraq has renamed Danish pastries. You now need to order Roses of the Prophet Mohammad when you hit the bakery in Tehran. Also apparently (assuming Scandanavian guilt by association) Swedish meatballs will be renamed Mecca (all beef) meatballs. In what appears to be an error of interpretation they have also renamed the finish line as the line where the race ends.

Australians are uber cool

From cnn.com

In an unsual ruling, the grave site of AC/DC singer Bon Scott in Fremantle Cemetery in Western Australia was classified with a heritage listing Wednesday.

There are not a lot of countries in the world that would designate the grave site of a raunchy hard living rock star who died in his early 30's by drowing on his own puke in the back seat of a car. Its not discovering insulin or pioneering UN peacekeeping but you've got to start somewhere.

While High Voltage was an influential album in my youth, I am not inclined to visit this heritage site if I get to Australia. It does, however, kind of make me think that Australia might be an interesting place to visit. That and the Crocodile Dundee movies. Oh yeah and Kangaroo Jack.

In a similar vein, perhaps we should designate the El Mocambo (or wherever the Prime Minister's wife (Margaret Trudeau) did whatever it was she did with the Rolling Stones) a heritage site. Canadian history just got a whole lot more interesting.

Its a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

Bad Judgement in the Age of the Internet

About six weeks ago I read about an incident at the University of Western Ontario. Apparently some young men wanted to celebrate a 19th birthday in residence with a stripper. As strippers apparently won't go to a University residence common room (which strikes me as a smart policy) they were stymied until one of the women in the residence volunteered to substitute. Its tough to know the specific circumstances but I'm guessing (hoping) she's experiencing signficant regret.

Numerous digital photos, her name and home town are now posted all over the Internet. I read the story in my local paper (not more than a paragraph) and googled Western Ontario Stipper and there she was. Difficult to believe she was a spontaneous amateur but . . . . .

Now I did some dumb/crazy things during University. One or two were even captured on 35 mm film. Nowadays even the guys in the background enjoying the stripper are seen glassy eyed and drooling all over the world wide web. The consequences of stupid decisions seem to be much more dramatic today.

Definitely a cautionary tale.

Is God a Steelers Fan?

Apparently God had forsaken the starving masses in Africa and is laying off the Pope on all the contraception stuff. He has bigger fish to fry. He's thinking about which NFL team Atwaan Randle El should play for.

Antwaan Randle El, who is a free agent and a hot commodity, said he is asking God whether he should stay with the Steelers or go to another NFL team. "I am not sure if this is where God wants me to continue to be or if he wants me to go elsewhere," he said. "I just have to keep praying about it."

I just hope he helps Mr El make a decision soon so that God can smite those folks that are burning Churches in the US South. You know there are other God Fearing free agents in the NFL and the end of basketball season and hockey season is coming soon too (and don't forget that Roger Clemons still needs to make a decision)its hardly surprising that God hasn't had the time to smite a few more terrorists or keep Brokeback Mountain out of the Oscar running.

By the way God - thanks for the help with the Blue Jays - can you whisper something to one more outfielder - I'd still like to replace Frank Catalanotto.

Is that Quayle or Quail?

So the US VEEP shoots a hunting companion. I'm sure there are lot's of shooting lawyer jokes going around (I heard his popularity went up when Americans heard it was a lawyer). I'll leave that to others. I was amazed, however, to read the following quote from the owner of the ranch where the accident occured.

"I would shoot with Dick Cheney everywhere, anywhere, and not think twice about it," she said Sunday night. But she said, "The nature of quail shooting ensures that this will happen. It goes with the turf."

Apparently its just obvious that you will occassionally hit your hunting companion with 200 pieces of buckshot. Perfectly natural. Its amazing he didn't shoot more people? What is this? Like a pinata . . they blind fold a guy with a shot gun spin him around a couple of times . . . let him loose and yell there's one, there's one? Are these peabrained birds so smart as to fly in front of a hunting companion regardless and the hunters so dumb that they inevitably shoot the companion too so as not to miss a nice quail dinner? Ever heard of chicken wings people? There has to be a way to make it safer?

On another note, I understand Saddam has been told he is forgiven and as a sign that the US means it he has been invited to go hunting with the VEEP.

You'll never hear George Bush say this - or Steven Harper!!

Silvio Burlusconi is the Prime Minister of Italy. Whereas Steven Harper opened his campaign with a promise to lower the GST, Silvio opened his campaign for the end of April elections by promising not to have sex till the election was over.

While the reasons for promising this is unclear it raises several questions:

1) I assume he is still allowed to screw the voters collectively just not individually (or if so many of those Italian sterotypes are true - in small groups - Silvio Caligula?????)

2) While he remains Prime Minister, is he still Master of his Domain???