Taking the Dry Cleaner to the Cleaners

A judge (of administrative law?) in Washington DC is suing his dry cleaner for $54 million (you read that right) for losing a pair of pants. Whilethe dry cleaner says he found the pants, the judge is saying that they are the wrong pants. The judge claims that a sign stating satisfaction guaranteed is unconditional and the lost pants, costs and damages are actually worth $67 million but he magnanimously is willing to accept the lower amount.

In a poor sign for the plaintiff, the trial judge is mocking his case and chiding the administrative law judge for poor knowledge of the relevant law. (Isn't the saying something like a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client). Although he is representing himself he is claiming millions of dollars in legal fees. He is also claiming $15,000 to rent a car to go to a different dry cleaner - did he rent a Hummer and drive to LA for another dry cleaner?

The defendant is saying that he should perhaps be liable for the pants (although he says they are the right ones) and that the case is frivilous. He says the judge went through a costly divorce (caught with his pants down perhaps - :-) ) and is looking for easy money.

Here's hoping he gets kicked in the ass and sent home.

Harper still thinks I'm Stupid

I track visits to the site. When I posted "Harper thinks I'm stupid" I have a visit from someone in the PMO - Prime Minister's Office. They stayed all of one second. Apparently reading the ranting of a lowly blogger isn't worthwhile (although googling the right words to get the For Rant blog apparently is worthwhile for someone in the PMO's office - your tax dollars at work).

Nice to know you're watching. Unfortunately you're not listening and you had the guts to phone me for money the other day. We think you're stupid and we don't think your opinion matters but would you like to help us pay for these ads that you detest.

On the other hand I think Harper and his minions are stupid. Now I just have to figure out if he's more or less stupid than Dion before the next election.

Not Ghana Die

I read an interesting article on funerals in Ghana the other day. While in North America there is a sense of social status that affects the size and pomp of your funeral. In Ghana, however, it is nuts. This is a country in which approximately 80% of the population makes less than $2 per day. The average annual income is $450. The ECONOMIST suggests that the average funeral costs $2,000 to $3,500. Consider:

They build elaborate coffins for the funeral but break them at burial to avoid theft ( I prefer to think of it as recycling). While that clearly creates casket building jobs, it hardly seems to be very efficient use of resources (I know I am a cold hearted bastard).

They refrigerate bodies (as do most countries) on death but the length of the refrigeration is a sign of status. A King recently spent 18 months in the fridge as a sign of respect. That might explain some of the Ted Williams stories we've heard.

And lastly, they hire professional mourners who lead the procession and wailing. I guess if you've been dead for 18 months your family might have gotten past the worst grief and appearances require really sad people. On the other hand, you may be at work paying for the funeral so have to hire people to come to the service.

I know I may be being culturally insensitive here but this is ridiculous and someone should tell them.

Dopes on Dope

Well the whole performance enhancing drug issue is spiralling out of hand.

There's one guy - Barry Bonds - who is generally accepted to have taken performance enhancing drugs (mostly recently it is alleged he tested positive for amphetamines) but has never tested positive. He is about to break an "unbreakable" record and will be simultaneously scorned and celebrated. Is it OK? It was at least unethical but not at the time against the rules - although it was illegal. He'll break the record and the record will stand with an asterisk that fades over time. Maybe instead of the AL and the NL we should have stock and modified divisions.

One thing that I have heard is that criticism of Bonds is racism. That's complete and utter crap. Bonds is chasing the record but Mark McGwire if anything has had more scorn heaped on him with his "I don't want to look back." comments to Congress. Floyd Landis has also been regularly mocked and scorned. Barry is a cheater. It doesn't matter whether he is black, white or green. The whole chase thing is a charade. I don't remember what Mark McGwire hit for average when he broke the single season record but it was clear that every swing was a home run swing. The team be damned. At least Barry looks a lit more like he's picking his spots.

Now we have the Canadian wheel chair athlete Jeff Adams who was suspended for testing positive for cocaine. He my in fact be innocent. Unfortunately very few cheaters admit they cheated when caught so we again have the standard denials. This defence goes a step beyond snowboarder Ross R who was in the room with people smoking pot. This guy says an unknown street person put cocaine in his mouth in a bar one night. He didn't report it a the time (although his wife is a police officer) and says that a catheter that he used that night must have been contaminated and caused the positive test. If a stranger put a white substance in your mouth in a bar wouldn't you want to know what it is? Unless you've done it before how would you know its cocaine. If you are an elite athlete and it happens wouldn't you want to make sure you were covered rather than hiding the incident? On the other hand, if you were guilty, wouldn't you come up with a better story than this one? Makes you wonder but I for one am tired of drugs in sport stories.